Episode 217: Earn the Conversation: Trust, Curiosity and the Work That Happens Before the Sale

In this episode of AIBF Business Talk, Elaine Carol speaks with sales strategist and author of Steps to WIN, Cira Feely, about the quieter skills that shape long-term growth. Preparation. Curiosity. And the kind of trust that cannot be rushed.

Ciara’s perspective was shaped long before she ever trained a sales team. Her early career took her from Ireland to New York, through advertising and into hospitality across the United States. Working in hotels teaches a simple truth very quickly. People rarely arrive with neatly defined needs. What they ask for is often not what they actually need.

That understanding became foundational. “People don’t always tell you what’s really important to them straight away,” she notes. Learning to listen for what sits beneath the first answer became central to how she approaches sales today.

When Ciara later founded FindAConferenceVenue.com, she gained a different vantage point. Sitting on the buying side, she began to notice patterns. Many businesses rushed to sell. Many talked about themselves too soon. Very few paused to understand the client’s world.

From that experience came a belief that runs through the episode. “You have to earn the conversation.”

For Ciara, the real competition is not another supplier. It is time. Decision-makers are busy, distracted and under pressure. Earning their attention means arriving prepared, informed and relevant. It means showing that the conversation will be worth their time.

Once that conversation begins, the role of the salesperson changes. It is no longer about pitching. It is about leading. Leading with questions, not answers.

One metaphor captures this clearly. Think like an onion. People start at the surface. The real issues sit underneath. Asking “why” and “tell me more” creates space for those deeper layers to emerge. Trust is what allows that to happen.

That trust matters because buying decisions are rarely logical alone. “Our brains make decisions based on how someone makes us feel.” Price and facts play a role, but emotion carries greater weight. Trust and connection do the heavy lifting.

The episode also challenges the idea that sales is something you either have or you don’t. Ciara is clear. Sales is learned. It is “100% trainable.” But not through short, intensive workshops that overwhelm teams and fade once everyone returns to their inbox.

Real change, she argues, happens gradually. Small steps. Repeated practice. Ongoing support. Habits shift over time, not overnight.

There is also a reflection on growth, particularly for women founders. Many are capable, busy and successful, yet hesitate to push further. Sometimes people “play small without realising it.” Progress often begins by thinking bigger, asking for help, and learning from those who have already walked the path.

The conversation closes with a reflection on recognition and values. For Ciara, recent Business All-Star accreditation mattered because it reflected how she works, not just what she delivers. Trust was built quietly. Maintained consistently.

Sales, the episode suggests, is not about pressure or persuasion.
It is about presence.
And the most valuable conversations are never forced.
They are earned.

Explore more from Ciara Feely
Ciara has created a short positioning resource to help you see if you are set up to attract high-paying corporate clients, which you can access here

Connect with Ciara on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ciarafeely/